Clean Your Room: Why is it so hard for me to keep it clean?
Clean your room! I’m always forced to clean it but two weeks later, it’s dirty again. I’m not a messy person, I don’t like living in filth. So why is it so hard for me to keep it clean?
You question tells me a good bit about your problem. You used phrases like “I’m not a messy person” and “I don’t like living in filth” – these are your values. “Why is it so hard for me…?” and “I’m always forced to clean it” The answer is because you have a mental block about cleaning your room. You won’t naturally clean your room because it’s something you don’t want to do. If you’re not a messy person, your room should never be in a state of filth. And yet living in a state of filth is easier than changing a mental barrier.
You asked the question – so I assume you want to change. Let’s play a game.
Let’s say the challenge is you have to post 3 Snapchats a day. It’s non-negotiable. Could you do it? Sure. You get up in the morning and fire off 3 Snapchats and bam you’re done. See that was easy. Or maybe you post one at breakfast, one at lunch and one at dinner. Bam you’re done.
Easy things are not a challenge
Or maybe you’re goofing off at bedtime and you fire 3 off posts at bedtime. Bam you’re done. Are you always forced to do it? No, it doesn’t feel forced, in fact in the course of a day you may post 20 or 50 times. Why? Because it’s a part of who you are. It’s easy, you do it naturally without thinking about it. It’s like riding a bike – you don’t think about balance, you just do it. When you put on a pair of pants, you don’t stop to contemplate which leg goes in first. You just put the pants on and bam, you’re done. It’s second nature.
If you don’t like hearing the phrase “Clean your room!” then change your beliefs first and then your behaviors.
Clean your room as a belief
Someone along the line demanded you “clean your room” and you didn’t like being told what to do. It made you feel inadequate and you’re not a messy person. So you cleaned your room but you still felt bad about someone finding fault with you. Every time that person asks you to “clean your room” it reminds you that you’re inadequate or not living up to their expectations. It makes you feel lousy about yourself, and you are not inspired to clean your room when you feel bad. I totally get it.
So this is me telling you that you are good enough, and you are adequate. And starting today – nobody else is ever going to have to ask you to clean your room. Why? Because you are not a messy person, and you don’t like living in filth. And you are going to tweak a few small behaviors and cleaning your room will soon be second nature.
Clean your room as a behavior
You already said you are not a messy person – so the actual process of cleaning your room is not the problem. When you brush your teeth in the morning, put your toothbrush away in the cup or the drawer. If you wear makeup, zip up the makeup pouch and put it back in the drawer when you’re done.
When you take off your shoes, hang them up on the back of the door rack, or put them on the shoe shelf. Every single time. Don’t take off your shoes in various rooms of your house. Either take them off at the front door, or in your bedroom next to the shoe rack. When you take off a shirt, you have two choices, put it in the hamper, or hang it up. It’s non-negotiable.
You have two choices
Those pajamas…you have two choices, the hamper or folded in the pajama drawer. Your pants – two choices, the hamper or folded up back on the shelf. When you take a shower, the towel? Two choices, the hamper or hang up to reuse.
Cleaning your room doesn’t have to be forced and it doesn’t have to be hard – you just have to consciously make new choices for a couple of weeks. Clean your room because you’re consistent with your choices and soon they will become second nature.